Oops!

Why they didn’t get the job

Employers have provided Your Workplace with some of the more amusing reasons for refusing potential candidates. Bosses may welcome a bit of comic relief while sifting through large piles of résumés, but it’s rather unfortunate for the individual hoping to get hired.

Spellers of the World Untie!

• “I am perfomance-oriented and show concern for detail”
• “Superiour communication skills”
• “Accurtae handling of cash”
• “Passed literacy test… References avaliable upon request”
• “Superior proven communication skills… Commerical Lending, checking docucmentation”
• “Served clientale…. Diploma in Writership & Mass Communication”
• “You wont be disappointed”
• “Strong communication skills both verbal and written… You will be surprise about my career”
• “i whould be an exclent candidate for the position”
• “My name is Miriam. Thank you for your consideration, Miraim”
• “I have excellent experiences in cutomer services. I have a high degree of accuracy in typing”
• “Took care of the general hygene of the institute”
• “Writed web-based reports… fluent in written English”
• “Bank Taller…. Superior oral and written communication skills”
• “hi dear sir/medam”
• “Bookeeping”
• “I’m forwading my resume… Looking forwad for an interactive session with you”
• “Bartender / Manger at Bar & Grill”
• “Exec Assistant: June 2007 – April 2088”
• “Assisted high school student with there homework”
• “I live at Young and Finch and am inquiring if you are hiriing”
• “Greeted visitors and addressed all concerns in a timely manger”

Double Takes

• A candidate had “acquired the ability to think”
• Someone who considered herself an “excellent team player” boasted of having “dictated office policies and procedures”.
• Finally, we briefly considered the candidate that had worked at a fast food drive-through and “served 80 cars in 90 seconds”.
• “Good at doing multi-tasks”
• “Bilingual in English, French, German and Italian”
• “To seek new experiences in the field of employment”
• “Trained to deal people”
• “Relaying information. Forwarding emails. Disturbing mail”
• “My recent job had also exposed myself to various customer relations”
• “I am able to conduct multitasks simultaneously”
• “Balancing myself and the Team”
• “The skills and personas I have developed will help me contribute”
• “Achievements: accuracy (don’t loose even cent from cash register)”
• “Answered inbound telephone calls”

Malapropisms

• “I am seeking employment in a busy, fast paste environment”
• “Managed a fast past Real Estate office”
• “Do to customer demand”
• “supported manager in his roll”
• “Handled client complaints when issue escalades”

Wrong Address

• “Here is my resume. please check it”
• “I am emailing you regarding your employment opportunity. Please reply A.S.A.P.”
• “in response to the advertisement on your website named www.workopolis.com…”
• A late candidate sent an email cover that opened with “Hello dear” and ended with “See ya soon”

Sadly, human error is something we all succumb to occasionally. May we have the grace to laugh at ourselves when it’s our turn.

Article originally published in Volume 11-1 of Your Workplace magazine